What would you do in this situation?

[chamelisa]

I was at a reptile show with some friends. It was very crowded. Lots of people bumping into each other. A child about the age of 8 or 9 walks by with an obviously gravid female Veiled in her extended hand. Her mother is close behind with the tiniest clear critter carrier that has a long purse-like strap. It is over the woman's shoulder banging against her hip as she walks through the crowd following her child.

I have to admit, I froze and didn't know what I should do. Would it have been appropriate for me to be bold right there in the crowd and advise the child and/or mother about the things she's doing wrong? I would feel like such a bad guy doing that. Something stopped me. Maybe it was because the two guys I was standing with didn't say anything either. All of us smiled politely and it was the most awkward moment. I was screaming inside. I totally failed the test.

I needed to get this off my chest. It has been bugging me since that day. I think in the future, I will carry small cham-info cards around with me.

Any advice? What would you do?

 

[Lizardlover]

I wouldve said a little something, cham info cards?? good idea

 

[Syn]

I stopped someone at the petsmart yesterday and talked to them about compact bulbs.. not much good it did me... Maybe next time you'll have the courage...

But hey, we all have our days we just can't do something. Cards would be a great idea.

 

[chambabysitter1]

I know everyone talks about how a 1 sheet cheat sheet will cause lazy owners, but at this point I think it's better than nothing. If only that pet store dropped Sweet Maggie's original owners a cheat sheet with a link to kitty or here.

Someone should buy a shorter domain name that just links people to the kitty blog. That way the cheat sheet can have bullet points and a quick www.xxxxxx.com address.

I don't know. You can't blame yourself for not saying anything, parents can be highly defensive and confrontational when you imply they don't know what they are doing and perhaps deep down you knew this as well.

 

[Julirs]

Awww man-your story made me sick to my stomach. I am not sure I could have kept my mouth shut (Me-being the Petsmart stalker that I am) but I was not in the moment you were so who knows. Worst case scenario would be that the Mom did not care and said something like-it is just a lizard-it will die anyways. People can be such idiots.

 

[chambabysitter1]

Awww man-your story made me sick to my stomach. I am not sure I could have kept my mouth shut (Me-being the Petsmart stalker that I am) but I was not in the moment you were so who knows. Worst case scenario would be that the Mom did not care and said something like-it is just a lizard-it will die anyways. People can be such idiots.

That mentality is cold but it exists. As a parent, I have no idea how you would be able to watch your child see a pet die. Pretty traumatic experience, be it a lizard, dog, frog, or what have you.

Anyways, the world is full of ignorant people, you do what you can, but they will always exist, so don't let it grind your gears too much.

 

[Syn]

My mom can't stand anything dying, because I'm upset very easily. We do the best we can.

 

[Rocky]

i probably wouldn't of said anything either. While in reality it would of been the better thing to do, but i'm definitely one of those shy people who screams at them in my head and doesn't want to offend someone.

the one time i said something to the pet store that has a female veiled that looks like she's egg bound they basically told me to f off and that they were the pros and knew what they were doing...

 

[Dave Weldon]

Howdy,

No matter how bad the situation looks, I try to start a conversation on a postive note while assessing the new keeper's current experience/knowledge level. I may write down the ChameleonForums site on a card along with a few other links too. I try not to overload them with too much info but at least enough to prevent (hopefully) death within days. If they seem to be receptive then I'll continue with more tidbits of survival skills including a review of the basic equipment that they need. If all goes well, I'll see them at the next South Bay Chameleon Keepers meeting or at least online here .

 

[chamelisa]

Howdy,

No matter how bad the situation looks, I try to start a conversation on a postive note while assessing the new keeper's current experience/knowledge level. I may write down the ChameleonForums site on a card along with a few other links too. I try not to overload them with too much info but at least enough to prevent (hopefully) death within days. If they seem to be receptive then I'll continue with more tidbits of survival skills including a review of the basic equipment that they need. If all goes well, I'll see them at the next South Bay Chameleon Keepers meeting or at least online here .

I will do better next time. I see a lot of sad cases. Just like Rocky, I am screaming inside my head too.

 

[sandrachameleon]

Forgive yourself.

I've tried the mild freak-out method (served no one well)
I've tried the "oh dear, did you not know that...." May I make a suggestion" in not a scolding, trying to be helpful way (felt like limited success)
and I've tried the "Hey! (big smile) I see you have a chameleon! Arent they fantastic!? I sell myself as an expert /specialist (well, compared to them this isnt really a lie) and their next best friend. Only once a positive note and conversation has begun, then I carefully put forward some corrective suggestions, framed as helpful cautions "you may already know this, but many people dont so I hope you dont mind my saying...." (I feel like I've spent a lot of time on something that is, in the end, unlikely to have helped)

There are People who treat each other badly.
There are people who treat non-human animals especially poorly.
There are ignorant people, and there are cruel people.

You cant excape them.

The cards are a VERY good idea. I shall be making some! And I will include this website and my email address. Cant hurt. Might help. Wont waste time on people who really dont give a rats behind.

 

[jojackson]

Sad fact of life. not everyones responsible or has a clue. You cant take it apon yourself to right the worlds wrongs! Forget it, you'll see it again no doubt!
Your just as likely to be told to F### off as get a positive result in such circumstances.
Leave it to the vendor to inform folk purchasing.

Best solution is NOT to be part of the problem! Educate yourself and freinds willing to listen.

 

[laurie]

I think in this situtation you would lose either way. I know not saying anything hurt but you could be like me. I would have explained the effect they were having on the cham, they probably wouldn't listen, and as usual my husband would be embarrased at my butting in. I love the card idea maybe that way i could help without a fight on the home front.

 

[chambabysitter1]

Small cards with resource links and bits of information seem like the most unobtrusive way to give information without coming off as a jerk.

If any are ever made, I'm dropping a stack off at the petstore that my neighbors bought the girl at.

 

[summoner12]

Nest time....

I was at a reptile show with some friends. It was very crowded. Lots of people bumping into each other. A child about the age of 8 or 9 walks by with an obviously gravid female Veiled in her extended hand. Her mother is close behind with the tiniest clear critter carrier that has a long purse-like strap. It is over the woman's shoulder banging against her hip as she walks through the crowd following her child.

I have to admit, I froze and didn't know what I should do. Would it have been appropriate for me to be bold right there in the crowd and advise the child and/or mother about the things she's doing wrong? I would feel like such a bad guy doing that. Something stopped me. Maybe it was because the two guys I was standing with didn't say anything either. All of us smiled politely and it was the most awkward moment. I was screaming inside. I totally failed the test.

I needed to get this off my chest. It has been bugging me since that day. I think in the future, I will carry small cham-info cards around with me.

Any advice? What would you do?

I remember standing next to you and the looks we gave eachother...... I was feeling the liquid courage starting to boil... But, I knew it wouldn't be good.

For about two weeks the image of that child and snobby mother haunted me. I really really do wish we had said something.

Next time, we'll have some canned answers ready.

 

[summoner12]

Sad fact of life. not everyones responsible or has a clue. You cant take it apon yourself to right the worlds wrongs! Forget it, you'll see it again no doubt!
Your just as likely to be told to F### off as get a positive result in such circumstances.
Leave it to the vendor to inform folk purchasing.

Best solution is NOT to be part of the problem! Educate yourself and freinds willing to listen.

Yeah... educate yourself...

JoJackson, Do you have any idea who Elisa is?

The people standing there watching the child pass by are members of this forum who have plenty of experience. The question at hand is what would you have done? you don't seem to think there is a solution to anything you are not already involved in. No point in solving a problem unless its solvable.... great outlook

 

[dodolah]

What i would do is to be nice to her and her son.
Ask how they enjoy the show and what a cute chameleon she got for her son.
Then tell her that the chameleon is gravid and about to lay eggs to initiate a conversation.
Then, hand her some care sheet, or a business card size paper with info and links to resource website such as this forum and many others.
And hope for the best.

 

[summoner12]

Small cards with resource links and bits of information seem like the most unobtrusive way to give information without coming off as a jerk.

If any are ever made, I'm dropping a stack off at the petstore that my neighbors bought the girl at.

I've been asking Brad to make some chamforum.com bizz cards... maybe with some help of encouragement we can get brad to do this...

 

[chambabysitter1]

I've been asking Brad to make some chamforum.com bizz cards... maybe with some help of encouragement we can get brad to do this...

I would donate.

 

[summoner12]

I would donate.

I might just sponsor it... but it wouldn't be just a CF.com thing... it would be UV guide, CF.com a couple of the good care sheets such as Brad ramsey's site... We can talk at the next meeting about it...