Why get one of those dumb homey G FuNk pit bull dogs, get a boy sized crab! Now that is a real guard critter! Picture this... You have your man crab roaming the lawn looking for a coconut when all of the sudden he spots the shimmer of a fake gold chain hanging from the neck of the would be burglar. As the intruder tries to jimmy the lock at your back door ‘Tiny’ the attack crab makes a dash for dudes neck trying to relieve him of his chain, in terror the criminal runs for his life tossing ‘Tiny’ from his person unaware that the crab snatched his bling. Not only did the crab stop you from getting robbed he also got you a splendid fake chain that would make for a perfect re-gift!
Where the heck can I pick one of these things up?!?!?!