I dont think you have anything to feel bad for. You're being honest in your intentions, which is more than you can say for most. You're trying to do the responsible thing and think long term. I know that chams dont form bonds so it doesnt matter for them, but humans form bonds. If you dont end up forming a bond with this cham, how can you force yourself to care enough to take care of it every day, right? Kind of like a mama seal who doesnt recognize the baby as her own... she stops caring for it and the baby eventually dies. Weird comparison? Maybe

What I'm trying to say is I get where you're coming from. With that being said, James is right that your tamatave is beautifully unique. You dont see it often and that alone makes it beautiful. Ambiboles are everywhere and eventually you might realize that you wanted something more special. Plus, the fact that your cham has a calm demeanor is so important! I would rather have a poop stain cham than a rainbow cham if it meant it didnt mind being handled and was cool coming out more often lol. Maybe give it a little time and see if you do realize that you really appreciate the colors your boy has to show you before you jump the gun.