This one's been circulating in the family since the 1950s. Source unknown, but thanks to the Internet I was able to find it. See Wednesday's Dinner...
Surefire Weight Loss Diet
Monday
Breakfast: Weak tea Lunch: (1) bullion cube in 1/2 cup diluted water Dinner: One pigeon thigh; three ounces prune juice (gargle only)
Tuesday
Breakfast: Scraped crumbs from burnt toast Lunch: One doughnut hole (without sugar); one glass of dehydrated water Dinner: Three grains cornmeal, broiled
Wednesday
Breakfast: Shredded egg shell skin Lunch: One-half dozen poppy seeds (skip if taking drug test later in the week) Dinner: Bee's knees and mosquito knuckles sauteed in vinegar
Thursday
Breakfast: Boiled-out stains of old tablecloth Lunch: Belly button of a naval orange Dinner: Three eyes from an Irish potato (diced)
Friday
Breakfast: Two lobster antennas Lunch: One tail joint of seahorse Dinner: Rotisserie-broiled guppy filet
Saturday
Breakfast: Four chopped banana seeds Lunch: Broiled butterfly liver Dinner: Jelly vertebrae à la centipede
Sunday
Breakfast: Pickled hummingbird tongue Lunch: Prime rib of tadpole; aroma of empty custard pie plate Dinner: Tossed paprika and clover leaf salad