I know how you feel. just lost my first this morning. I had him for a month, i got him from petsmart, he wasnt a great eater and there was a couple other red flags but i was confident with my husbandry and i researched for months, I figured based on age he was sort of past the fragile point and i could give him what he needs. My wife called them yesterday and one of the people said how old they were, turns out my almost four month old was more like a two month old. I never had one before so i didnt know how big that age should be. Very sad. I researched for a month before I spent three months building his adult enclosure. All hard wood, mistking, tile floor, drain, all screen. Its a show piece stands 7' tall its over three feet wide. I made sure that everthing i used was non toxic and safe. like i said a lot of research i spent over a month sourcing a nontoxic acrylic paint sealer for the background i made for it. I will get another chameleon but it will certainly be from a breeder this time and defanitely be three to four months old. If it was my fault i cant figure out why or how, but sadly cant help but feel responsible. Keep your chin up, I intend to do the same
Jarred