On my last leg, Ready to give up!

[kokom05lb]

First off this is not chameleon related. I'm looking towards members on the forums for support, since there's no support with family.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years, 8 years in December. Let me just say that I love my husband, my son, and daughter and support them very much. My husband and I have worked together in the U.S. Army for almost 2 years before we got married. When i met his family, they were fine, a little more support back then. I lived with his parents for nearly 1 1/2 years. (Never, ever, ever doing that again) When hubby came from deployment and we moved to Arizona his family didnt support us that much.

I got a job and soon after I found put that I was pregnant with our son. I stayed at work until the 8th month and quit. I havent had a job since. I picked up some babysitting, pet sitting, house sitting, and house cleaning jobs in thr last 4 years but nothing serious. The last January my husband decided to get out and go to school to become a certified mechanic. Every since our son was born we haven't had family support!

We keep getting turned away. His family insists that I should leave and nrver have contact with my kids and husband again.

 

[Tyaeda]

In laws can be a-holes, but you and your husband have your own family's interests to be concerned about, not theirs.

Finding work can also be difficult, maybe you can look in a different direction? Maybe a more industrial field like your husbands? I personally find it very rewarding to be the only female at my workplace. It's physically hard work, but it's good exercise, and it get's me outside in the sun and fresh air, which is always helpful!

Hopefully things get better for you soon

 

[kokom05lb]

My husband is suppose to teach me all these oil changing etc but hasnt had time

 

[Tyaeda]

That's unfortunate. I used to be a welder, now I drive heavy equipment, and I did it by starting as a general laborer for both positions. It usually starts near min wage, but once you get experience in the field, you become a great asset, and you'll definitely stand out amongst potential employers. Now I make over $15 an hour more than I made 5 years ago. You're a mom, so I know you're not scared to get your hands dirty

 

[carol5208]

I don't understand the thinking of your inlaws. They want the mother of their grandchildren to just up and walk away? They sound like they are crazy to me. Why do they want you to have not contact???

 

[kokom05lb]

They want me out because I cant seem to get a job. Yes the extra income would be awesome! But daycare will take most of it. Its annoying. Its one of the reasons why I'm a sahm. They think all I do is sit at the computer all day long anf dont feed my son or husband and I dont clean house.

 

[Olimpia]

Well, that's hogwash! I can't believe they would be that mean. What does your husband say about all of this? And what have they done professionally that makes them so much better than you? Are they neurosurgeons? Aerospace engineers?

 

[kokom05lb]

His mother is a nurse and his dad is owner of Service Master (the cleaning company). His granddad and grandmother are pretty rich. His granny was a sahm too and she says that women has no place in the workforce, she really hates me.

 

[Olimpia]

Well, I don't understand what the problem is, but I guess none of us will without knowing your in-laws and I think this is riddiculous. I know many women who don't work because with the cost of childcare, like you said, unless they find a great job it's not worth working. And even then, you can't take a great job if you have small children because a great job usually isn't part-time, it requires a lot of work, and you can't give both parties 100%.

What about taking some classes in the meantime? Not only would it add skills to your portfolio but it should in theory hush them. At least temporarily. And you would still have plenty of time to spend with your boy. Just an idea!

 

[kokom05lb]

Guess I'm out of the picture. Hubby wants me to move back to California. Breaks my heart.

 

[camimom]

wait he wants you to move to cali?? without him and your kids?

 

[Olimpia]

What!? Wow, that's insane.

 

[kokom05lb]

He wanted me to move back to California because we need to move out of the apartment. But dont have the money for deposit on a different place. So he was thinking about sending me away to room with a friend. Problem is its goung to cost over $500 to send me, my son, my dog, cat, and 2chameleons to CA. I will not rehome anymore of my pets!

 

[camimom]

Wouldn't it be easier for him to go?

 

[VigilantSpearIII]

Sounds sad. I don't rely on my family or my in-laws. As a matter of fact, I keep my distance. Not that they are bad or anything, but I have pride and dignity that prevents me from asking their help.

You need to do the same. You need to stop trying to get help or support from in-laws or your external family. Stand on your own two feet, its hard, but it feels much better knowing that you didn't get any help from others. Do things without expecting support. Don't take this the wrong way, but you are an adult. Show them what you are made of.

Reading your last post makes me think that there are more problems in the relationship than just work-related issues. It is unclear if you mean that your marriage is over or if you are just separating because a lack of income. Best of luck to you.