I really wanted to get some things out. You all don't have to bother reading all of this, but I just wanted to get it out there and try to convey what a great little girl she was.
Besides losing her, the hardest part is trying not to blame myself too much. There is always an "I could have done this" scenerio, but in this case, I feel like there are a million other things that I could have done before she reached this point. I really just thought that she was tired from the trip to my grandmother's, and she is never able to sleep in the car, so she only had about six hours of sleep before we came down here. I was just letting her rest up, and my mother came in the room and told me that I should check on her (she didn't know she was gone at this point), and when I did she was laying at the bottom of her cage. I had found her at the bottom that morning, but, again, just thought that she fell in her sleep. Honestly, if I had thought that she was truly this sick, I would have taken her to the vet days ago, but I thought she was just a bit weak from the eggs developing. I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything, but I seriously cannot believe that I have to bury her on Christmas. It is almost ironic that something like this would happen. I have always told myself that I never wanted any bad memories or anything bad to happen on Christmas, and, considering she died around midnight it did.
I really am very happy that she was so meaningful to some of you. I felt like if I talked about her enough or if I shared enough of her, people would see her and her will to live and perhaps give their sick chameleons a little more of their time, or try to go that extra mile for them. Even before I got her, I have always thought that an animal's life should be something special for them, especially if that life depends on another being. And I know that for me, when I see posts on here of some of the amazing things that people do for their chameleons, it makes me work that much harder for mine. The more that I learned about her illness the more I didn't want it to ever happen to another cham, and I hope that she was able to show some of the newer owners what can happen if they don't take the time to learn about their new responsibility.
I tried to give her the best life possible after I got her to try to make up for what was done to her. When I took her to the beach this summer, she was so beautiful and vibrant the entire time, and I knew she was having a blast. Whenever she still liked being held a lot, I used to walk around with her on my shoulder, and I would always know when she wanted to be put back because she would grab ahold of my ear with those strong chameleon hands and make this noise of her's right in my ear. My boyfriend and I always imitated her because we had never heard such a disgusted noise come out of an animal before, and if we did it in front of her she do it right back at us. Of course, things like this didn't happen every time, but often enough to where it was expected of her.
I keep thinking about getting another chameleon, but whenever I use to say that I would get one after Jo was gone, I felt like it was years in the future. Now that it has happened, I can't imagine owning a chameleon that isn't her. I would love to get another rescue, but it would be in hopes that it would be like having her again. I know for sure that when I do get another, it will definitely be a Veiled, but I can't say if I will get a female. Some how I feel like 2-3 years will just fly by, and I want to put off what I am feeling right now for as long as I can.
Another thing my boyfriend and I would do was give her a thousand nicknames. Some of them included Jo Monster, Little Monster, Jo Bro, Jo Namath, JoJo Bear, and, my favorite, simply Monster. Of course, Monster was only meant with the best intentions, and came from that noise she would make at us.
The one thing that I keep trying to convince myself is that it was her time. When I got her a year ago, she already developed eggs. From what I hear, it can take up to a year for them to do that. If that is the case, then she was a little over two years old, which still doesn't seem like that long to me. But, if they really do only live to be around 3, then I suppose it was her time. I guess that I just thought when that time came, I would see it from a mile away and be better prepared, emotionally, for this.
If you stuck around to read all of my ramblings, thank you very much. I promise I am not trying to be dramatic with any of this, but I honestly can't talk about it with my family. They don't really understand. Very few of them have ever owned pets.
