Crazy Conversation of the Day

[junglefries]

Has the 70 year old lady heard about todays retirement homes? Hook up city! Did she really say she was too old for that? I think she was just hittin' on you specifically absolutbill!!! Bridge anyone?

 

[absolutbill]

We've got plenty of retirement homes down here. She was traveling with her brother and his wife, and really got a kick out of conversation.

Not that she couldn't be a lesbian, but I'm a girl My husband came up with the name when he signed me up for the forums and after 5+ years it's not worth it to try to change it

 

[Psychobunny]

this is one I had last night with my husband as we were sitting on the porch looking at our rose bushes

him: I am going to cut that rosebush down
me: why ?
him : its infested with aphids
me: yes, I know
him: well, then why don't you want me to cut it down, they will only spread to the other bushes
me: that's what I hope
him: what, why ?
me : FEEDERS HONEY, FEEDERS
he just shook his head, did not seem to share the same joy in aphids as I

Tell your husband he needs to put out some mantis ootheca's.
That way, he will fall for it, and you will have even MORE feeders

 

[Baksmurf]

I had the opportunity for a great one the other day via text. Unfortunately it ended before it got started.

*text to me from unknown #* Hey, my man and I was wondering if you did overnights?

Never took the bait when I said occasionally.

Lord knows what they were in search of. Overnight pet/baby sitter? DD? Dog walker?

 

[Lathis]

Overheard at the office

Coworker 1: Well, at least it's six of one, half dozen of the other.
Coworker 2: What do you have six of?
Coworker 1: No, it's a saying.
Coworker 2: What is?
Coworker 1: Six of one, half dozen of the other. It means that it's equal.
Coworker 2: Eggs?
Coworker 1: What? No, no eggs.

 

[Lathis]

Today:

Me: I just read that only 16% of people admit to peeing in the shower. Isn't that weird?
Hubby: That's totally weird. Who pees in the shower?
Me: Yeah... That's what I meant... Weirdos.
Hubby: Do you pee in the shower? That's my shower too! Don't pee in my shower!
Me: Stop trying to make this about me!
(And then I literally ran out of the room.)