would it be ok to do this?

Kittiekins

Kittiekins

New Member
Ehhh so my boyfriends mother and i got into a fight earlier today about my baby chams lights. Every day when I get home from work I find my light turned off! It's really starting to annoy me. I leave for work at 6:45am. Loco is up and active by then.
I turn on her day light and leave. My boyfriends mother leaves around 7-9am and she turns off the light before she leaves. I keep trying to explain why Loco needs it on and that uvb is extremely important! Using my new igunana as an example(she has MBD from her last owners and her growth was badly stunned)
But ever day its the same thing. She turns it off and yells about the electricity. Its not like I'm not paying for rent and utilities!
Anyways I was wondering if I could use her uvb light at night while she sleeps or if this would mess up her sleeping. She needs her lights and I'm trying to find a way around my soon to be mother in laws non sence.

I'm talking about a woman who wants me to release all my reptiles in the wild because it makes her sad to see them(god only knows why, their all spoiled beyond compare!) And calls me a murder for feeding my snake... she also believes my python can live as a vegetarian because "fruits, vegetables and flax seeds have so much protien!"... how do I deal with this?
 
Tell her to take a hike! =P

But in all seriousness, UVB can't be on during the night time or else your chameleon would never have a proper day/night schedule.
Try showing her the forums and getting her to sit down and read through some of the posts that show why owning a chameleon is such an amazing privilege. My girlfriends parents are friggin' psycho too and were very against her owning a chameleon (Reptigurl on the forums). But eventually they folded and now her mom can't get enough of Razu.
 
that was going to be my thought too... get a timmer that turns on the light after she leaves for work that way she thinks she has won the fight and you both win....lol
 
I would approach this as the timer being "energy efficient" but if this doesn't work you may need to think about moving out? Unfortunately you cannot just leave it on at night and a chameleon being such a big responsibility, it is important that their needs are looked after, or the fragile creature will not make it. I hope everything works out! Good luck
 
I come home on my lunch and turn it back on, mid day mist and feed. if I can't make it I'll have some who is home do it. When I explained to her before about owning one she was fine and understanding, now that she sees her its like she goes back on every word she said. I wish I could get her to sit down and read this, but she doesn't have the patiences... and I tried that once with my snakes and why they can't be a vegetarian. She went back the next night asking the same dumb questions.
A timer should work well I suppose. Any recommendations?

My soon-to-be and i do plan on moving out soon, we have even considered just going to the court house, tying the note so we can take out a loan for a down payment and just having the ceremony when we can afford it! Hahaha
But both our families got every mad by the idea. They want a ceremony, and the dress, and food. Hahaha
 
Here's what I would do. I'd bring the cage into my room and lock the doors after I leave for work. I'm pretty sure she has no right to unlock your room doors and enter as and when she likes. If that doesn't work get your man to talk to her imo
 
Ahtee said:
Here's what I would do. I'd bring the cage into my room and lock the doors after I leave for work. I'm pretty sure she has no right to unlock your room doors and enter as and when she likes. If that doesn't work get your man to talk to her imo
Click to expand...

She is in my room. Only low traffic area in the house. She still comes in cause she doesn't understand privacy... She comes in while I sleep and yells about random things. Its just rude my man is also on a 6month business trip in Seattle at the moment): so sadly Im alone on this one.
 
I think for everyone's sanity, since you are already paying rent and utilities, why not just move into your own apartment rather than with the boyfriends family? Then you can have whatever animals you'd like and can care for them the way they need to be taken care of.

At the end of the day when you live in another persons home, regardless of you're feelings about whether or not you think they are being ridiculous, it is their house, and their rules.

Good luck.
 
TreeTopChameleons said:
I think for everyone's sanity, since you are already paying rent and utilities, why not just move into your own apartment rather than with the boyfriends family? Then you can have whatever animals you'd like and can care for them the way they need to be taken care of.

At the end of the day when you live in another persons home, regardless of you're feelings about whether or not you think they are being ridiculous, it is their house, and their rules.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

We do plan too. But like I mentioned, he's gone for 6months in Washington. And I can't afforda place on my own. :/ its just annoying when I talk to her before I get the animal but a week into it being here she goes back on everything she says. Or makes it hell and complain about everything. So again, if anyone knows a good reliable timer, let me know!!!:) thank you!
 
just buy a timer at lowes. the ones i get there are really good and there only like $5. idk what brand they are but they only carry like 1 brand. the timers are in the home lighting section
 
Kittiekins said:
Ehhh so my boyfriends mother and i got into a fight earlier today about my baby chams lights. Every day when I get home from work I find my light turned off! It's really starting to annoy me. I leave for work at 6:45am. Loco is up and active by then.
I turn on her day light and leave. My boyfriends mother leaves around 7-9am and she turns off the light before she leaves. I keep trying to explain why Loco needs it on and that uvb is extremely important! Using my new igunana as an example(she has MBD from her last owners and her growth was badly stunned)
But ever day its the same thing. She turns it off and yells about the electricity. Its not like I'm not paying for rent and utilities!
Anyways I was wondering if I could use her uvb light at night while she sleeps or if this would mess up her sleeping. She needs her lights and I'm trying to find a way around my soon to be mother in laws non sence.

I'm talking about a woman who wants me to release all my reptiles in the wild because it makes her sad to see them(god only knows why, their all spoiled beyond compare!) And calls me a murder for feeding my snake... she also believes my python can live as a vegetarian because "fruits, vegetables and flax seeds have so much protien!"... how do I deal with this?
Click to expand...

no, you cannot run the lights at night.
three possible solutions for you:
1 - move out to your own place
2 - put a lock on your door (its not hard to replace a door handle with a locking door knob to which only you have the key)
3 - buy a light timer, and set it to come on at 9:05am (after mother in law leaves for work)


Also, you don't need to make anyone happy about a ceremony except you and your fiancé. If you two don't need a big ceremony, don't have one. Do the sensible court house thing if that's all you need. If your parents and inlaws want to foot the bill for a big party later, let them. There's nothing saying you cant where a dress later, and even re-vow, if you wanted to
 
Aside from moving out, which I'm sure you would do if you could do so comfortably, and aside from getting a timer to trick your inlaws, there is something you could do. Every month when you pay for your utilities, throw her an extra $20 on top of what you already pay and say "this should cover the extra electricity that I need to use".

Another thing you could talk to your boyfriend about is his mother's invasion of your privacy and property. If you're paying rent and utilities to her, she is your landlord first, future relative second. I've stayed with in-laws before, and sometimes they can meddle not only in your partner's life too much, but your life as well. How would she feel if you told her how to cook, or clean her house? Probably the same way as you do about her telling you how to raise your pets.


Chameleons need 12 hours of light during the day only.
 
sandrachameleon said:
no, you cannot run the lights at night.
three possible solutions for you:
1 - move out to your own place
2 - put a lock on your door (its not hard to replace a door handle with a locking door knob to which only you have the key)
3 - buy a light timer, and set it to come on at 9:05am (after mother in law leaves for work)


Also, you don't need to make anyone happy about a ceremony except you and your fiancé. If you two don't need a big ceremony, don't have one. Do the sensible court house thing if that's all you need. If your parents and inlaws want to foot the bill for a big party later, let them. There's nothing saying you cant where a dress later, and even re-vow, if you wanted to
Click to expand...

Haha try telling that to super religious Mexican family! Hahaha. Its mostly his side that wants one, he is the first born son to a powerdul man in the family. They made such a big deal about it. no doubt we will be having some sorta ceremony.

Tyaeda said:
Aside from moving out, which I'm sure you would do if you could do so comfortably, and aside from getting a timer to trick your inlaws, there is something you could do. Every month when you pay for your utilities, throw her an extra $20 on top of what you already pay and say "this should cover the extra electricity that I need to use".

Another thing you could talk to your boyfriend about is his mother's invasion of your privacy and property. If you're paying rent and utilities to her, she is your landlord first, future relative second. I've stayed with in-laws before, and sometimes they can meddle not only in your partner's life too much, but your life as well. How would she feel if you told her how to cook, or clean her house? Probably the same way as you do about her telling you how to raise your pets.


Chameleons need 12 hours of light during the day only.
Click to expand...

I threw on and extra 50 to try and get her to stop! And she is a VERY good meddler. Haha. She comes in to "clean" in her words, which there is NO NEED for her to clean in here, and then snoops around. A lot.
Hahahaha how she feels about telling her how to clean and cook xD
Now that's a battle we have been down before! Haha she tried cooking, being clear, COOKING, salmon in a microwave..... after arguing with her enough and getting a head ache, I just let her do it and it exploded. And she STILL tries to vaccum the tile with a vaccum that hardly pulls anything up.
Me and the fiance are looking at places to live. She super sweet and an amazing woman. She took me in when my parents abandoned me. We go to the gym together. Go out to eat, stay home and have a girls night together. There's just somethings that really get under my skin. Ahaha
 
here comes trouble

I can't believe i am going to say this. Time to 'cut your man off'. He will eventually be forced to lay down the law and stand up to his mom. unless you'll are waiting until you married, then congrats and you are out of luck, unless you move. i know how it is. my mom still uses a crt tv because it works fine, she says. My twice the size flat screen uses a $1 a month, & her's uses $35 a month in electricity. some people cannot be educated no matter what. just move. your sanity, happiness, well being, & future marriage will thank you for it.
 
Kittiekins said:
Haha try telling that to super religious Mexican family! Hahaha. Its mostly his side that wants one, he is the first born son to a powerdul man in the family. They made such a big deal about it. no doubt we will be having some sorta ceremony.
Click to expand...
all totally irrelevant. Its not the big powerful family that is getting married, its two individual people.
 
sandrachameleon said:
all totally irrelevant. Its not the big powerful family that is getting married, its two individual people.
Click to expand...

To them it is. Its kinda like the saying with the pregnancy. That YOU are not pregnant, but WE(and in some teen cases the family) is pregnant. That's how his family sees the marriage. Its not two individuals. Its two families. And the whole first born deal, I guess its suppose to be like he its treated more of a man with higher respect than his younger brothers, he gets to take over family company and such. But also means he is in charge of caring for the family. I don't really understand, but when his grandmother starts yelling in Spanish everyone just shuts up and sits down. Haha its scary. Me, I'm like from irish "your 16 get the hell out of my house, come back when your an adult so we can drink." Kinda family.
His family was ecstatic to find out we want kids down the line.
Mine was more of a "touch my daughter I'll take you back out with a shotgun." Even though we have been together for going on 5years now, and plan to get married.
 
You poor thing. It does sound like a difficult situation. It's so good to hear that you get on so well with his mother usually though. How far through the 6 months are you? Seems like you've got a good idea to compromise going on, with getting a timer for the lights etc. Doesn't sound like she's being particularly logical, but it's her house, so she gets to be a little unreasonable, even if that isn't totally fair, with you paying your own way.

This time will feel like forever, but in a year or two, you will look back and it won't seem as long as it feels right now. Take things one day at a time, if needs be, no need to add drama by confronting people.

Timers are easy to find, drug stores etc have them, and they really don't cost much.

Good luck!
 
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