We lost JT today and I lost a part of my soul

iluvrango

New Member
Our sweet, beautiful JT ended his suffering today after 5 weeks of fighting a foot infection and the resultant complications (swelling of the back legs and severe loss of the use of his back legs). When we went to the vet today (who had kept him for the past week while we were out of town on a trip we could not revoke), he couldn't even lift his head. He was so weak, he could barely open one eye to look at us. Before we turned him over to the vet to euthanize him, we took him outside. Despite his weakness and illness, he rallied one final time. He tried to climb off the towel with the warm bag of IV fluid underneath to escape into the shrubbery in front of the vet's office. JT always loved to be outside, even until his last breaths on this earth. My husband and I are devastated that we lost our sweet T-monster. He is our first, and perhaps only, Jackson's. Prior to his demise, we spent close to two hours each day caring for him by providing medications/injections, meal replacements and at times supplemental fluids administered subcutaneously. I despised all of the interventions that were prescribed for him (and administered by us), yet I couldn't give up on him as long as he was fighting. When we saw him today, one week after we had to leave town, we knew immediately that his fight was over. His head was down on the towel and his body was shriveled and sunken. His eyes were slits as opposed to the bright eyed curious and inquisitive JT that he was just several weeks ago. I signed the form to euthanize him without reading it. I was so devastated that I could not even think. When the vet took him away to administer the anesthesia, it seemed that she was on the verge of tears, too. My faith has been rocky, though I have struggled to find something - anything - to hold onto. JT was absolute perfection. Kindness, gentleness, content just to be, greeting me when I came home from work, never displaying anger or lashing out at us, despite all of the interventions (forced feedings, injections of antibiotics and fluids, bad tasting medications squirted into his mouth). JT loved life. He loved his enclosure and circled his "High Five" vines repetitively when he was a little younger. He relished going outside. Even today, before the vet euthanized him, we took him outside one last time. He went from being listless and droopy to lifting his head off the towel and looking at the world around him. This is how we remember JT. Despite his profound weakness, he tried to walk off the towel onto the shrubbery. Eventually, we had to return to the vet for what we knew was our final goodbye. We were fortunate to have a compassionate vet who understood our grief and allowed us time to say goodbye, despite her busy schedule. I gently kissed JT goodbye on his back and the vet took him away. She said it would take a few hours to confirm the process was complete. We returned this evening and retrieved JT in a cardboard box, along with his footprints and tail imprint on a clay disc. My husband buried JT in our back yard a few hours ago. I keep looking at his large enclosure and I can't really believe he is gone. I never thought I would be a reptile person, but JT has touched my life in so many ways that no human or animal ever has. At this moment, I sob as I mourn JT and I think I will never get through this. I have cried for the better part of four weeks as I increasingly realized that JT was not getting better. Today, I have felt as though a part of me has died. I will never get "over" JT. JT has taught me about life and love and being in the moment - like no one else ever could. I see God in JT, and that is huge, because I have struggled with my faith in a higher power all of my life. JT has truly been a Godsend. I pray that JT will be peaceful in heaven, and if I am so fortunate, maybe one day I will be blessed to meet up with him again. Rest in peace, my sweet JT. When I die, I pray I will be with you, sweet boy. All my love always and forever. Love, mom.
 
Thank you for sharing your story with us, I'm so so sorry to hear JT has passed :(

Please post some picture of him when he was in his prime and enjoying the outdoors :)
 
I am so, so sorry for you. I know so completely how you feel, I am sitting here crying for you and JT. Most people don't understand "loving a lizard". I consider that their loss, I do love my chams and know that they greatly enrich my life, just as your your JT did for you. I do believe we will both be in heaven with our chams.
 
I just woke up and read this and it made me cry. What a sad and heartfelt story. I know how you feel. My pets are like people, family members to us and loosing one is crippling. You will see your little guy in heaven.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. It is always hard to say good bye to one of these special little animals. May JT live on in your heart forever. You have my condolences.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how devastating it is to have to say good bye. Jacksons are such beautiful and sweet animals. I lost mine, and it broke my heart. I kept wandering up to his empty enclosure, expecting to see him. :(
 
I am so sorry to hear about JT. I know how much he was loved, how much you did and hurt for him as well as love him. It was so hard to lose my boys and I know that it hurts to look at the empty space in which they used to live. I miss them so much and I am so sorry that you are experiencing the same thing.
 
Thank you, everyone

I appreciate all of the kind words and condolences. I am still grieving so intensely. I know it will soften over time, but I don't want to ever minimize JT's impact and presence in my life. I have been truly blessed to have the privilege of experiencing life with JT. The world was such a better place with him in it. I will always miss him and I struggle not to blame myself (should have found a better vet sooner, should have minimized interventions, including his injections, etc.) JT was so kind and sweet and accepting that I know he would not have blamed me. I have learned so much from him and I hope that I will continue to learn and grow from his presence in my life. I am grateful for the community of chameleon lovers with whom I can share my pain and grief, as well as my boundless love for this beautiful soul/spirit who touched my life like no one else has. Thank you for being there for me and for everyone else who has ever known and loved a chameleon.
 
So very sorry for your loss. :(
Jackson's are so sweet--they really do leave a void in your heart when they pass.
 
Missing JT so much!!!

Just three days and 17 hours ago we lost our sweet JT. Here are a few of my favorite pics of JT. So precious!
 

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