Lame Joke Contest~~ :)

[drcrossfire]

Lets have a thread for all those lame jokes we all know and love!!!

I'll get the ball rollin:

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie??
It was rated Arrrrrrr!

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. The temperatures start to rise, and the first says, "Is it getting hot in here to you?" and the other responds, "AHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

A snare drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
Ba-dum-ching

So these two atoms where walking down the road, when one turns to the other and says, "Hey, I think I just lost an electron!" and the other looks back and says... "Are you positive?"

your turn

 

[Ace]

lol

What kind of bees make milk???.....BOOBEES


why did the coyote give up chasing the road runner.....because he cant handle fast food


i got more but those are some lame cheesy corny jokes

 

[drcrossfire]

love it Ace!

 

[lisa h]

Does someone know the joke about the bear pooping in the woods then whiping his butt with a rabbit? It used to make me laugh like crazy, but I can't remember it. It was lame but funny. Anyone?

 

[okiroo]

i know some but i cant think of any D: if i remeber i'll edit and post here! haha.

 

[drcrossfire]

Ha.. i'm intrigued, but never heard a bear rabbit one! comon guys.. lames jokes arent that hard

edit: found it? A bear and a rabbit were having a shit in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit "Don't you hate it when shit gets stuck to your fir?", and the rabbit replies "No, not really." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his bum with it.

What did Ludacris say to the Fireman??

Use a hose.... HOSE! Use a hose... HOSE!

 

[lisa h]

Ha.. i'm intrigued, but never heard a bear rabbit one! comon guys.. lames jokes arent that hard

edit: found it? A bear and a rabbit were having a shit in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit "Don't you hate it when shit gets stuck to your fir?", and the rabbit replies "No, not really." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his bum with it.

What did Ludacris say to the Fireman??

Use a hose.... HOSE! Use a hose... HOSE!

You're the best -- thanks for the bear joke! I owe you. After all these years it still makes me LOL (even before there was LOL).

 

[drcrossfire]

You're the best -- thanks for the bear joke! I owe you. After all these years it still makes me LOL (even before there was LOL).

I do what I can

 

[drcrossfire]

geeze... i was hoping this would be more popular

 

[madi]

do yo mama jokes count

 

[drcrossfire]

do yo mama jokes count

well.. they are pretty lame... so yes. ha

 

[madi]

yo mama is so stupid she tried to put em&ems in abc order

 

[kaylie]

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two... but you wonder how they got in there.

What did one plate say to another? Lunch is on me.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

 

[drcrossfire]

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two... but you wonder how they got in there.

What did one plate say to another? Lunch is on me.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

hahaha -- so far you're winning my contest

 

[kaylie]

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

 

[Cainschams]

There were four ducks sitting on a log. Duck 1 says to duck 2 setting beside him, "Its starting to get cold out. My instincts are telling me we should travel south for the winter". Duck 2 says, "you know what? My instincts are telling me we should travel south for the winter also". Duck 3 looks to the first two ducks and says, "What a coincedence. My instincts are telling me we should travel south for the winter also". Duck 4 looks around and says, "My end stinks but its not telling me to go anywhere?????".

 

[Champeleons]

I went to see the doctor the other day, but all he did was suck blood outta my neck! If you need a doc, DO NOT see Dr Acula!

 

[dreamforthedead]

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

 

[dreamforthedead]

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."

 

[dreamforthedead]

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"