Lame Joke Contest~~ :)

This really happened to me:

Around Halloween a group of people dressed as Native Americans walked past the front desk of the hotel where I was working. As they walked by, one turned and shouted, "Don't worry, we have reservations!"
 
absolutbill said:
this really happened to me:

Around halloween a group of people dressed as native americans walked past the front desk of the hotel where i was working. As they walked by, one turned and shouted, "don't worry, we have reservations!"
Click to expand...

omg! Lol! Xddd
 
So a man goes into a dentists office and goes, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist says, "well if you're a moth... why are you at the dentist?"

the man replies:

..... "The light was on"
 
A man heard about the opening of a zoo not far from where he lived with his wife and children. He loved taking his family to the zoo, and they were all excited about exploring a new attraction so close to home. He took a day off work one Thursday because he had been to enough zoos to know they are really busy at the weekend.

That Thursday the weather was really warm, which you'd expect in late August. The family packed a really healthy but nice picnic, lots of salad and fresh fruit, all in a really good cooler so it would be perfect at lunchtime. They sensibly applied sunscreen to the children and they all wore sunhats, then packed the car and set off.

The car journey was uneventful, the man was a really careful driver, but not in an annoying way, just sensible.

They arrived at the zoo, paid the entrance fee and went through the gates.

Once inside they were shocked that in the whole 4 acre site, there was only one animal: a dog.

It was a shih tzu.
 
A blonde stood staring at the fridge for ages. His boyfriend stood up to check on her.

He said "I thought you were just going to grab us some orange juice? What is wrong you ok?".

The blonde turns to him and says "shsssh the box says concentrate".
 
Why don't rabbits make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls!

What did the little grape do when he was stepped on?
He let out a little wine!
Sorry, they are bad..
 
okay, because this is a "family show" :p I will clean this one up...

a bear goes into a bar, and orders a drink, the bartender says" we do not serve animals" , the bear says " oh yeah, if you do not serve me , I will go down to the end of the bar, and rip that blond up, eat her, and upset all your patrons". the bartender tells the bear to go ahead , thinking the bear is bluffing. So the bear does just that, causing quite a scene, and indeed eating the woman.
The bear hops back on his stool, and says " SOOO, are you going to serve me now? ". The bartender says, "NO, we do not server drug addicts either "
"WHAT !!?? " the bear screams - " I am NOT a drug addict "
the bar tender says " you sure are... that was a Barbiturate!"

LOL - sorry , my best attempt to be funny so early in the morning :p
 
Whattaya call a deer with no eyes?... No Idea...

Whattaya call a deer with no eyes and no legs?... Still no idea...

Whattaya call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no genitals?... Still no F-ing idea :eek: :rolleyes:
 
I hope those are lame enough ;). Just in case they are not, here's a Yo Mama joke.

...Yo Mama is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and made skittles!!! :)
 
Who's bigger? Mrs. Bigger or Mrs. Bigger's baby?
The baby...Because the baby is a "little" Bigger.:D
Just a funny/lame joke I remember from my robot friend growing up named 2-XL.:D
 
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