Hinata

[hinatasmom]

My sweet little girl Hinata had surgery on July 9th to remove a leg they thought had cancer. The bone was deteriorating. She did excellent with the surgery. However she still needed to stay at the vets office to decide on another surgery to remove eggs that she was not laying. A comparison between xrays showed they were beginning to push on her lungs. The vet reassured me she was healthy enough to do another surgery (one week out). The surgery was done on July 15th. The dr. called me at 4pm to tell me the surgery went well, however they werefollicles and not eggs and there was a mass in her stomach that she took half out of it, but it was tied into a vascular part. I didn't understand why she didn't just sample it instead. She said it would take two weeks to see what it was. She told me I could come up on Thursday July 18th to see Hinata, but they would keep her there to treat her for an ongoing infection. She looked so great when I saw her on July 11th, the day after her amputation. She was trying to climb on me and was the greenest I had seen her in a couple of years. On July 16th, the day after her surgery, I get a call in the morning saying she is doing great and I can come see her Thursday. By 4pm I received a call stating the dr found her unresponsive with her tongue out of her mouth not breathing. They intubated her and told me to come see her because she didn't think she'd make it. I got to the vet 3 hours later as it's 3 hours away. My little girl was motionless with a tube down her throat. Her eyes sunken into her head. Green with large black marks around her sides. Her eyes were mostly closed. I talked to her and touched her, but she was motionless. The dr called me while I was there and told me she didn't know what happened. Surgery went well. She said that it could have been a number of things, but she checked for internal bleeding but there was none on a needle test. She said it could have been from removing the follicles as each contained blood or from removing part of the mass. She said it would be best to put her down, so I did. They first removed the tube and gave her a strong sedative. I got to hold her. She took 4 breaths within 20 minutes. Bubbles each time. I talked to her and told her I was sorry. The guilt I am carrying is so immense. I feel as though I caused this. I should have taken her home and let her rest before doing the follicle removal. I'm just so sick with guilt and miss my little girl. She was 3 years old. Here is a before surgery picture around 2 years old and the one without her leg. She looked so happy... but died days later.

I am so stuck on hoping my little girl wasn't suffering. I am praying she had no idea what was going on. I just can't stand to think of her hurting.
RIP my sweet baby girl!

 

[Decadancin]

So sorry to hear about your sweet girl. Rest In Paradise little one.

 

[MissSkittles]

I’m so sorry. She was beautiful.
We always look for ways to blame ourselves, but we don’t have any way to see the future. You did all that you could for your sweet girl and what was believed to be best and there is no fault in that. Sending vibes of healing and peace.

 

[Gloriawood]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. You should not blame yourself for trying to save her life. Many people would not have done all you did for your girl.

 

[hinatasmom]

Thank you all. I wake up each morning and the first thing I think about is that she’s gone… and then why. I’ve reached out to the vet to ask her if she could answer some questions to try and help me process everything.

I want to know if they are aware they are dying.
I want to know if she suffered.

The vet found her with her tongue hanging out and not breathing - I want to know if she was already “gone” at that point- hypoxia or something.

I’m just so sad. I don’t want to beat myself up, but I had her there originally because of the swollen foot. They wanted me to give her shots every day and I couldn’t so I asked if I could board her there and they do. Between that time they amputated. I saw her after and she looked amazing and happy. Then the second procedure… was supposed to pick her up days later but…

 

[Gloriawood]

Thank you all. I wake up each morning and the first thing I think about is that she’s gone… and then why. I’ve reached out to the vet to ask her if she could answer some questions to try and help me process everything.

I want to know if they are aware they are dying.
I want to know if she suffered.

The vet found her with her tongue hanging out and not breathing - I want to know if she was already “gone” at that point- hypoxia or something.

I’m just so sad. I don’t want to beat myself up, but I had her there originally because of the swollen foot. They wanted me to give her shots every day and I couldn’t so I asked if I could board her there and they do. Between that time they amputated. I saw her after and she looked amazing and happy. Then the second procedure… was supposed to pick her up days later but…

It could have been anything. Chams are prey animals and their best defense is hiding their illness and pretending they are ok. 9 times out of 10, by the time you realize something is wrong they are already too far gone. She could have an underlying issue and the surgery just pushed her over the edge. You just rarely know with these guys.

 

[hinatasmom]

Thank you for saying that. I had no idea they did that. I wish the dr didn’t do the second surgery within a week.

 

[Gloriawood]

Thank you for saying that. I had no idea they did that. I wish the dr didn’t do the second surgery within a week.

Hindsight is 20/20. You and the doctor were only doing what you believed to be right and to save your girl. That’s all anyone can do.

 

[hinatasmom]

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.