Communist Homeowners Associations

[Fidel]

Here's my HOA battle story.

The HOA in my mothers neighborhood are real parking Nazis. They had my truck towed once for no good reason. I was livid, and went around knocking on all the board members doors asking them about it and they just pointed the finger at the other members. It cost me $100 to get my truck back, so I stole all the no parking signs in the neighborhood. Then a year later when I graduated college I got a card from one of the HOA board members with a $100 bill in it, she said she needed to fix her karma(sp?).

 

[eisentrauti]

Could sb explain me with a few words wtf communist howeoweners associations is/are ?

 

[SoCaliSon]

Could sb explain me with a few words wtf communist howeoweners associations is/are ?

Hey Benny... an HOA is an association that exists within some neighborhoods that regulate things like... What color can you paint your house... What you can keep in your driveway/ in front of your house... What kind of plants you can use, how many centimeter long your grass can be. When you live under an HOA you have to pay monthly for the HOA to handle things like gardening in common areas... and snacks for their monthly rant meetings. They are for the kind of people that don't want to live in a neighborhood where your neighbor might paint their house lime green. Most of the time their monthly fee is robbery, and they hassle people as if they are getting paid to complain about stuff that really doesn't matter. It really is a communist-like idea.

 

[Redeye]

I am a first time home owner, there was no F'n way I was buying into a HOA

Most HOA's can literally TAKE YOUR HOUSE if you don't conform

 

[AJA]

Benny,

The HOA is also there to keep the value of your house up and make is a nicer place to live, so that your neighbor who does paint his house lime green, leaves rusty cars in the front yard, has a loose dog, and doesn't mow his lawn doesn't drive the value of your home down.

However, some of them get a little over zealous with their ruling.

 

[eisentrauti]

Ah, thanks guys - yes in Germany there are similar things: For example you can't built your house like you want, you must get permits for how you built your roof etc. ...

 

[dodolah]

Ah, thanks guys - yes in Germany there are similar things: For example you can't built your house like you want, you must get permits for how you built your roof etc. ...

Wow.. i thought this sort of thing only happened in US..
I like it when they start to get nosy checking out your backyards and the cars you have. They particularly don't like it when I park my old car on my driveway since they say it's "obstructing a nice view of the neighborhood."

 

[eisentrauti]

Oh I bet here it's even worse. For everything you want build or do on your own property you need the permits of several authorities
I mean wtf its our estate so we should even could built a skyscraper if we want to

 

[dodolah]

lol.. i agree with you wholeheartedly.
But, if that is the case, I think my house would looked like a Madagascar Jungle already. I can see why the neighbors would get scared.

 

[eisentrauti]

We have enough space round that house that I even could run naked in the garden and nobody would notice it
Those whole things are just a way to give the lazy bums in the authorities a bit work

 

[summoner12]

I lived in an Apt. that was kinda crazy about stuff.... so when we moved out I took all my lobster roaches and distributed them around the complex.......

 

[codiwatkins]

I lived in an Apt. that was kinda crazy about stuff.... so when we moved out I took all my lobster roaches and distributed them around the complex.......

HAHA this would be fun to do!!! Im having issues with my Apartments right now as well. They are trying to make me pay a $30 fine for leaving my empty cham cage(the one that was mr esters.) on my back patio for 2 days. It still had all the plants and biovine/sticks in it. I just ddnt like looking at it. It was out for a friday and saturday and I brought it back in on sunday morning. On monday wehn I left for school there was the note on My door.....I refuse to pay it. This isnt the first time they ahve harrased me about stupid crap. I cantw ait till I find my house!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chambabysitter1]

I saw this chain of emails posted this morning.
Totally reminded me of this thread. HOA's are great!
http://thewvsr.com/gargoyle.htm



GARGOYLE TROUBLES

Loyal Surf Reporter Chris from Boone, NC recently purchased a house and moved into a new neighborhood in Boone, where he's apparently made quite the first impression. Obviously concerned that Ugly Southern Stereotypes are beginning to die out, the neighbors have banded together and concluded that Chris and his family are, in fact, smoking on the devil's johnson. What follows is the letter received from the homeowner's association, and Chris's response. As hard as it may be to believe, I promise you that I haven't added anything for comedic effect... this is the real deal.

THE LETTER

Christopher and Heather XXXX
XXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
Boone, NC 28607

Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX

We are writing to you as members of the Evergreen Homeowner’s Association about a concern that has occupied all our minds since you moved into this neighborhood. We are a congregate group of good Christian and God fearing people. The display you have set up on the outer section of your lot has us a bit concerned as the statue appears to be a type of Pagan worshipping symbol, unlike the other lawn decorations in our neighborhood. Shirley Whitley, a neighbor of yours says that this is a Satanic being and that you may be involved in the Occult. We have all noticed strange goings on around the neighborhood. There are flashing lights in the sky and numerous dead animals in the road. We understand that you are a homeowner, but if you will read your declaration of restrictions, obscene or vulgar displays on your property are not allowed. We insist that you remove this questionable display at once. Our children are not to be influenced by Devil worship and deviant behavior.

Ardna Tyne
For the Evergreen Homeowners Association


THE RESPONSE

June 16, 2002

Dear Ardna (IF that’s your real name),

I am addressing the issue of my Gargoyle which the benevolent homeowners association seems to take offense to.

I will NOT be removing my Gargoyle any time soon. A Gargoyle is an ancient protector of property, and can be seen all over Europe in the architectural structure. I guess the homeowners association hasn’t gotten to them yet. My Gargoyle basically looks like a puppy with wings. Does this frighten you? I can only imagine you screaming in fear when the Snuggles fabric softener bear is speaking to you through your evil television set.

I would like to file a formal complaint about several yards in the neighborhood. The guy down at 152 has grass that’s over two feet tall. What’s he growing in there? The woman at 138 has a saddle and stirrups decorating her mailbox. What is that all about? I, for one, am not a cowboy, do not like cowboys and find it horrifying how the cowboys treated the Indians and Tom Landry. That guy was the only coach they ever had. Once they fired him, he died. Was that fair? I find cowboys to be highly offensive. Don’t get me started on the pink flamingos in the Whitley yard.

As for the flashes of light in the sky, that’s lightning, you idiot. Have you noticed at about the same time the wicked sky lights are flashing, there are evil drops of liquid falling from the sky? We are in a drought. I would think rain would make you thankful.

As far as the dead animals go, you idiots don’t know how to drive on the winding mountain roads. That is called ROADKILL. If you will notice, these are squirrels and rabbits that just walk in front of you as you drive down the mountain with your retired tunnelvisionist eyes glaring straight ahead.

We live at the top of this mountain. Your friends and neighbors cannot even see my house for all the trees surrounding it, so there is no need for you to freak out over my lawn stuff. I will not be moving things, so take whatever action you feel is necessary.

See you in hell,

Love,

Chris XXXXX

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