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Never, ever trust a Veiled. Thank G-d Ziggy had been studying Crane Style Kung Fu before he encountered Osama. See attached photo.

It is impolite to refer to her as large. We like to refer to her as a plus size gal. She has big bones and a healthy appetite. See attached.

However the same command given at the same time to Gecko's of the Tokay Persuasion does not seem to work. I had forgotten that Gecko's are largely nocturnal or crepuscular and pay the consequences. My mistake. See images attached.

Consider where Frieda is from. Saudi Arabia and Yemen. Suppression of women's sexuality in these countries is excessive and takes a toll on the psychological development of all women in these areas. Frieda's reaction to red is perfectly understandable as red (think Scarlet Letter) is not...

As an expert on ethology or animal behavior I have set out to train chameleons similarly to domestic dogs with varying degrees of success. Teaching your chameleon to stay is best done in the dark, at night or if your chameleon is recently deceased. There must be coordination between your...

Well, maybe not ducks but certainly cornnish game hens.

Did you hear the one about the chameleon that couldn't get it up? He had e-reptile dysfunction. Badda bing. Badda Boom. Need more vodka.

The Flying Panthers of the Arctic. Yes! The Flying Panthers are quite beautiful and fly around all year but are only visible in the summer (when they are visible 24 hours per day). Care must be taken when viewing them as they loose their bowels unpredictably. They are commonly known...

So you don't believe me. Check out this picture of Melissa to scale.

So, you don't believe me? Check out this picture of Melissa to scale (attached).

I knew Tex... Heloderma Vodkinskii, commonly known as the Cossack Chameleon (see photo attached) is not nearly as dangerous as the C. Kolderplezium species. I was with Tex in Siberia when he lost the leg to the Kolderplezium or as we now call them "Saber Toothed Chams." Please don't make...

Chameleo Kolderplezium Some interesting facts. Besides pulling dog sleds C. Kolderplezium can get to over 300 pounds and feeds on flying fish and can dig holes in the arctic ice with their 17 horns and fish for halibut. Since being domesticated the Inuit use them to fend off wolves...

So I guess you wouldn't believe this... The rare Arctic Cham (Chameleo Kolderplezium) is so large that it is used by Eskimo's to pull dog sleds.

She is the most healthy lizard I have ever seen. When in the back yard she eats sparrows and fence swifts and even baby ducks! She is bigger than all the Parson I have seen and much bigger than Oustis. She is afraid of even the smallest other chameleon species but likes my Panther Ziggy...

Good thought! Melissa is the biggest chameleon I've ever seen. I have not even seen a bigger Parson's. However, they have been coexisting in the free range together for over a year now. See pic attached.

Shakescham said it best... To be a cham, or not to be a cham, that is the question— Whether 'tis Nobler in the limbic mind to suffer The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Ferrets, Or to take Arms against a Sea of male competitors, And by opposing, kick them off the branch. To die, to...

Well of course. He's a Veiled from Saudi Arabia and Meller's are of course Jewish Chams.

May I ask where your MIL purchased the T? Thanks. I am looking for lizard apparel without the actual lizard's skin.

For the last couple of days my Panther Chameleon Ziggy has been following around my Giant Meller’s Chameleon Melissa. Melissa is mildly ticked off but Ziggy makes no aggressive overtures and is, as always, a perfect gentleman. Can anyone explain this? See pictures attached.

Chameleons are not deaf. 200-600 Hertz is their range and all that vibration from branches moving making them hyper sensitive.