anyone else with boyfriends in college who are too busy to know ur alive?

[squeekz1992]

Girls (women) are completely awesome you are both wrong!

Men are perfectly capable of resisting anyone hitting on them should they be so inclined. The problem is, especially when still young, we are very seldom so inclined.

The truth is both boys and girls are equal when it comes to going after someone who is in a relationship it just doesn't bother you so much when a man tries to "steal" away a woman because that doesn't effect you. And the real real truth is nobody can be stolen away from someone else. People are not objects that can be stolen from one person to another like an object.

You Girls always trying to treat us guys like your personal property!

That wasn't my point...My point was that girls are awful friends cuz they always stab you in the back. Always. My opinion had nothing to do with men. And as far as "you girls" I am not one of those girls and my bf is free to do as he pleases. Yes, they had a choice and are not "stole", but that had nothing to do with my post...

 

[DanSB]

That wasn't my point...My point was that girls are awful friends cuz they always stab you in the back. Always. My opinion had nothing to do with men. And as far as "you girls" I am not one of those girls and my bf is free to do as he pleases. Yes, they had a choice and are not "stole", but that had nothing to do with my post...

How do girls stab you in the back? It can't be by going after your boyfriend, do they steal your money, break contractual obligations?

If one of your friends decides to hit on your man and he goes along she just did you a favor and saved you time from being under the illusion you were with a committed man. No back stabbing involved. Unless of course that man was your property.

I don't expect you to agree with the logic (and it is good logic once you escape from the preconceived notions of how things ought to work) but at least understand where I'm coming from and why the sentiment of competitiveness and "back stabbing" among women is silly in my opinion.

I would just like to see people not so caught up in petty relationship garbage, it takes so much away from our lives and overall enjoyment of this life it is sad to me.

How many more girlfriends would you have if you didn't care whether or not they are trying for your man? If the answer for you is none there are still many for the whom the answer is a great many.

 

[okiroo]

Im a girlfriend thats gone off to college:


I have to say i love having our time apart. makes me happy to be doing my own thing without him following me all over school and yelling if some guy talks to me


I LOVE my boyfriend. been together over 2 1/5 years and never broken up or had any really bad fights. he's my best friend aswell. I dont think it's wrong of me to like being on my own and having a little more freedom. But i dont cut off cumminication with him either. i text him daily atleast to let him know how my day was and ask how he's doing how was school ect ect. He also call me for goodnights. Thats really the best perspective i can give you.

some things to keep in mind- My boyfriend can't be away from me for a day without getting depressed(and no he's not wimpy. he's the biggist kid in the entire school at (6 feet 4inch!). He goes on hunts in other states and it makes him super sad. He calls me all the time to c how im doing. When you love and deeply care for someone you want to be around them all the time. for how long you've been together that doesnt seem normal. were already planning wether our house is going to have a fire place or not and when were gunna have kids. You should have someone who calls you and wants to spend every moment possible with you.

 

[Kmw]

How do girls stab you in the back? It can't be by going after your boyfriend, do they steal your money, break contractual obligations?

If one of your friends decides to hit on your man and he goes along she just did you a favor and saved you time from being under the illusion you were with a committed man. No back stabbing involved. Unless of course that man was your property.

I don't expect you to agree with the logic (and it is good logic once you escape from the preconceived notions of how things ought to work) but at least understand where I'm coming from and why the sentiment of competitiveness and "back stabbing" among women is silly in my opinion.

I would just like to see people not so caught up in petty relationship garbage, it takes so much away from our lives and overall enjoyment of this life it is sad to me.

How many more girlfriends would you have if you didn't care whether or not they are trying for your man? If the answer for you is none there are still many for the whom the answer is a great many.

I think if someone who is meant to be a true friend, hits on your boyfriend, they both need to be cut from your life. Friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what.. relationships break up, boy/girlfriends cheat, sh*t happens. FRIENDS are supposed to be the foundation and if they can't even manage that... So no, I do not see your "logic", as I find it flawed and an awful way to live your life. No one deserves to be in my life if they can't be a decent person to me. Weither it's a relationship, or a friendship.

 

[DanSB]

I think if someone who is meant to be a true friend, hits on your boyfriend, they both need to be cut from your life. Friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what.. relationships break up, boy/girlfriends cheat, sh*t happens. FRIENDS are supposed to be the foundation and if they can't even manage that... So no, I do not see your "logic", as I find it flawed and an awful way to live your life. No one deserves to be in my life if they can't be a decent person to me. Weither it's a relationship, or a friendship.

Haha I guess I'll stop when I'm only a little behind. I have a very hieinleinian view on relationships which just doesn't sit well with most folks.

I apologize if I got anyone riled up

 

[amanda509]

Haha I guess I'll stop when I'm only a little behind. I have a very hieinleinian view on relationships which just doesn't sit well with most folks.

I apologize if I got anyone riled up

haha poor you...you have like 3 girls ganging up on u!

 

[Kmw]

Haha I guess I'll stop when I'm only a little behind. I have a very hieinleinian view on relationships which just doesn't sit well with most folks.

I apologize if I got anyone riled up

It's not that I disagree with the idea that if your boyfriend is willing to cheat on you, he's toast. I just think it should be the same for anyone you let into your life. If they are willing to treat you like crap, they should not be there. Regardless of their gender, or the kind of relationship you have.

 

[DanSB]

haha poor you...you have like 3 girls ganging up on u!

I think ya'll are a little too young otherwise I'd be excited about it! ha haa

It's not that I disagree with the idea that if your boyfriend is willing to cheat on you, he's toast. I just think it should be the same for anyone you let into your life. If they are willing to treat you like crap, they should not be there. Regardless of their gender, or the kind of relationship you have.

You're absolutely right, I agree nobody should ever be treated poorly and anyone who treats another poorly needs to be out. No matter what semantics or philosophies you choose to live your life by the bottom line is we all deserve to be treated how we would like to be treated by those we voluntarily bring into our lives. Should we not be treated how we want and we don't remove them from our lives we are telling the world it is what we want.

Yes it is way more complicated and there are thousands of ways to do it differently but as a universal truth we all need to go for what makes us happy! (Like chameleons)

 

[amanda509]

okay, as an on topic update, derek and i are officially on break. not necessarily broken up. here are the rules we agreed on:

-we may keep our status as a couple, until monday.
-no sex.
-we are not to see eachother except for holidays.
-he is to initiate any conversation with text or fb, otherwise, we will not talk.
-he is to let me know when he is up to date with his schedule enough to start seeing me again, but this will be the only "break" after this..there is no more breaks, so he needs to choose wisely.
-during this break, he sets the limits. if he dates, im allowed, if he sleeps with someone, im allowed, yadda yadda. which, he hates the idea of me doing these things, so this should deter him from making any stupid decisions.
-otherwise, our conversations will be kept casual and on a need to know basis. no bragging about who were hanging out with or what we're doing. (i know enough people that i dont need to talk to him to know what limits he has set in the above rule)
-at any point time he decides this is no longer a break and is permanent, then so be it. all rules will be off and we will go on with our lives.

soo...yea. this sucks. any input? i cant complain too much about the rules because it was a split effort, and we both agree on all of them...sunday will be the last day i see him, only because i reallly need his help getting the new tank from my truck to my room lol.

 

[okiroo]

okay, as an on topic update, derek and i are officially on break. not necessarily broken up. here are the rules we agreed on:

-we may keep our status as a couple, until monday.
-no sex.
-we are not to see eachother except for holidays.
-he is to initiate any conversation with text or fb, otherwise, we will not talk.
-he is to let me know when he is up to date with his schedule enough to start seeing me again, but this will be the only "break" after this..there is no more breaks, so he needs to choose wisely.
-during this break, he sets the limits. if he dates, im allowed, if he sleeps with someone, im allowed, yadda yadda. which, he hates the idea of me doing these things, so this should deter him from making any stupid decisions.
-otherwise, our conversations will be kept casual and on a need to know basis. no bragging about who were hanging out with or what we're doing. (i know enough people that i dont need to talk to him to know what limits he has set in the above rule)
-at any point time he decides this is no longer a break and is permanent, then so be it. all rules will be off and we will go on with our lives.

soo...yea. this sucks. any input? i cant complain too much about the rules because it was a split effort, and we both agree on all of them...sunday will be the last day i see him, only because i reallly need his help getting the new tank from my truck to my room lol.

This seems fine i guess.,, Whatever works for ya'll.


A few things that stood out to me: I dont understand why you would c eachother on holidays if your sat as a couple ends monday? Also, you might meet someone else on this break(in fact you most likely will). Does that mean under this agreement you cant date them or anything unless he does that with someone else? I doubt he would tell you if he went on one little date if he doesnt want you going on any.

 

[Solid Snake]

Haha I guess I'll stop when I'm only a little behind. I have a very hieinleinian view on relationships which just doesn't sit well with most folks.

Behind?

okay, as an on topic update, derek and i are officially on break. not necessarily broken up. here are the rules we agreed on:

-we may keep our status as a couple, until monday.
-no sex.
-we are not to see eachother except for holidays.
-he is to initiate any conversation with text or fb, otherwise, we will not talk.
-he is to let me know when he is up to date with his schedule enough to start seeing me again, but this will be the only "break" after this..there is no more breaks, so he needs to choose wisely.
-during this break, he sets the limits. if he dates, im allowed, if he sleeps with someone, im allowed, yadda yadda. which, he hates the idea of me doing these things, so this should deter him from making any stupid decisions.
-otherwise, our conversations will be kept casual and on a need to know basis. no bragging about who were hanging out with or what we're doing. (i know enough people that i dont need to talk to him to know what limits he has set in the above rule)
-at any point time he decides this is no longer a break and is permanent, then so be it. all rules will be off and we will go on with our lives.

soo...yea. this sucks. any input? i cant complain too much about the rules because it was a split effort, and we both agree on all of them...sunday will be the last day i see him, only because i reallly need his help getting the new tank from my truck to my room lol.

 

[mbondy]

okay, as an on topic update, derek and i are officially on break. not necessarily broken up. here are the rules we agreed on:

-we may keep our status as a couple, until monday.
-no sex.
-we are not to see eachother except for holidays.
-he is to initiate any conversation with text or fb, otherwise, we will not talk.
-he is to let me know when he is up to date with his schedule enough to start seeing me again, but this will be the only "break" after this..there is no more breaks, so he needs to choose wisely.
-during this break, he sets the limits. if he dates, im allowed, if he sleeps with someone, im allowed, yadda yadda. which, he hates the idea of me doing these things, so this should deter him from making any stupid decisions.
-otherwise, our conversations will be kept casual and on a need to know basis. no bragging about who were hanging out with or what we're doing. (i know enough people that i dont need to talk to him to know what limits he has set in the above rule)
-at any point time he decides this is no longer a break and is permanent, then so be it. all rules will be off and we will go on with our lives.

soo...yea. this sucks. any input? i cant complain too much about the rules because it was a split effort, and we both agree on all of them...sunday will be the last day i see him, only because i reallly need his help getting the new tank from my truck to my room lol.

I'm sorry but this seems absolutely ridiculous to me at least. Relationships aren't easy and they do take a lot of work but this seems absurd. Either he wants to be with you and commit or not. I know this is easier said than done but at some point you'll break up, meet someone new and think, "why the hell was I wasting my time with that loser? "

 

[Trillian]

Those rules all sound like he wants you on standby while he looks for something better. If he thinks he's found it, you're free, otherwise you have to wait. You can stay friends without having to abide by this BS...

 

[pssh]

Those rules all sound like he wants you on standby while he looks for something better. If he thinks he's found it, you're free, otherwise you have to wait. You can stay friends without having to abide by this BS...

This! Either you are together or you are not. I dont think its fair for him to be able to choose when you are allowed to see other people just because he wants a break. You should be able to see who you want should you choose to do so.

My boyfriend of 4+ years and I are going to college together, but if he wanted a break I would never agree to those "terms." If he wanted time to see other people then I should be able to do the same on my own terms and not his. I would not be a fallback girlfriend while he tries to find another.

 

[Pascal 2012]

Same here I have been with my girlfriend for very close to 4 years and if by some chance something like this did happen I would not agree to term like this I should not have control over her like that. She is my partner not my slave who follows my commands. This is my opinion

 

[DanSB]

okay, as an on topic update, derek and i are officially on break. not necessarily broken up. here are the rules we agreed on:

-we may keep our status as a couple, until monday.
-no sex.
-we are not to see eachother except for holidays.
-he is to initiate any conversation with text or fb, otherwise, we will not talk.
-he is to let me know when he is up to date with his schedule enough to start seeing me again, but this will be the only "break" after this..there is no more breaks, so he needs to choose wisely.
-during this break, he sets the limits. if he dates, im allowed, if he sleeps with someone, im allowed, yadda yadda. which, he hates the idea of me doing these things, so this should deter him from making any stupid decisions.
-otherwise, our conversations will be kept casual and on a need to know basis. no bragging about who were hanging out with or what we're doing. (i know enough people that i dont need to talk to him to know what limits he has set in the above rule)
-at any point time he decides this is no longer a break and is permanent, then so be it. all rules will be off and we will go on with our lives.

soo...yea. this sucks. any input? i cant complain too much about the rules because it was a split effort, and we both agree on all of them...sunday will be the last day i see him, only because i reallly need his help getting the new tank from my truck to my room lol.

I can't say what I really think because I already got yelled at enough

Listen to the older folks on here who already went through crap like this in their youth. It is a bad bad idea and you will regret wasting the time when you're older. Eventually you'll be old and saggy and tired and wish you didn't waste so much of your youth when you weren't so saggy and tired!

My opinion is anyone who is in a serious committed relationship in the modern world before 30 is being silly. Eventually you'll want to pair up and spawn but do it after at least a decade of dating and getting to know people as an adult (over 20). This way you know who you are and what you want and in my opinion 30 is probably even a little too early but it becomes biologically difficult if you wait too long after that. Okay I kinda said what I think but left out a lot

 

[Trillian]

I got married at 19 to a guy I met on the internet 4 months previously. 13th wedding anniversary this year, still besotted with one another, despite (due to?) going through crap and growing up together. Takes all sorts ...

 

[pssh]

My opinion is anyone who is in a serious committed relationship in the modern world before 30 is being silly. Eventually you'll want to pair up and spawn but do it after at least a decade of dating and getting to know people as an adult (over 20). This way you know who you are and what you want and in my opinion 30 is probably even a little too early but it becomes biologically difficult if you wait too long after that. Okay I kinda said what I think but left out a lot

No thanks! I'm not going to be having my babies after I turn 30! I am not taking the risk that I might go through menopause as my children are teenagers!

 

[Kmw]

I think you need to respect yourself a lot more than to agree to any of that! None of that sounds like something anyone should agree, too. Of course, this is just my opinion and if you are SERIOUSLY okay with the rules (and not just agreeing because you don't want to lose him) then so be it. It sounds a lot like he's ensuring a safety net, and that's kind of sick for him to even suggest any of that.

 

[squeekz1992]

How do girls stab you in the back? It can't be by going after your boyfriend, do they steal your money, break contractual obligations?

If one of your friends decides to hit on your man and he goes along she just did you a favor and saved you time from being under the illusion you were with a committed man. No back stabbing involved. Unless of course that man was your property.

I don't expect you to agree with the logic (and it is good logic once you escape from the preconceived notions of how things ought to work) but at least understand where I'm coming from and why the sentiment of competitiveness and "back stabbing" among women is silly in my opinion.

I would just like to see people not so caught up in petty relationship garbage, it takes so much away from our lives and overall enjoyment of this life it is sad to me.

How many more girlfriends would you have if you didn't care whether or not they are trying for your man? If the answer for you is none there are still many for the whom the answer is a great many.

They lie, they talk about you behind your back, and thats just a couple things. I dont have to explain myself to you and im not most girls so Id appreciate if you quite assuming to know me when you dont. Honestly back stabbing doesnt have to revolve around guys and that you are assuming that it does is conceited and really aggravates me. I said NOTHING about men and you keep coming back to that aspect and assuming what i did not say and i dont appreiciate it. I dont care if they make passes at my man bc he is just that, a man, and they are what they are, and i trust him to be faithful. It is all about choice and not everything revolves around men and if you think it does you have ALOT of growing up to do. I am not competitive or petty. I am honest and loyal and most girls my age are not and love drama. So your point is moot. And since my original post had NOTHING to do with men, get over the feelings of self elevation that men are the center of the universe, because there are plenty of ways for women to stab someone in the back without touching or "trying for" her man. Puhlease. You dont understand women at all if thats your stance. So quit assuming to understand us bc honestly it will just piss us off.