I've had such a bad week. Not entirely, but generally overall its been pretty miserable. I cannot remember a time when I have felt anything close to how awful and moody I feel right now. Almost every piece of news I got this week was disappointing, depressing, frantic, aggravating, enraging, demotivating and/or defeating. Its been one long bar...rage of negative news, sleeplessness, failures, mistrust and abuse.
So many of the interactions I had with others this week were negative. I encountered more than anyone's fair share of two-faced, demanding, self-centered, frustrating, needy, stupid, foolish, illogical, annoying and smelly people.
Forget about turning lemons into lemonade. I don't have the energy left for such a positive endeavor. All I can handle is just trying to survive, and even that is tenuous. I cant manage to distract myself long enough to stop obsessing about everything that has gone / is going wrong.
I've shed tears, and it gave he a headache. I've shouted, and sounded foolish. I've blamed myself; I've blamed others, but the problem was only amplified. Ive tried gardening, but pulling weeds and digging holes didn't slack my anger. I tried reading, but the ending of the story sucked. I tried throwing my new beautiful incredibly uncomfortable blue panty-hose into the trash, but it just highlighted that Id wasted $20.
I've tried to think about all the things Im grateful for, but it didnt stick. I came right back to being ungrateful and feeling under appreciated. I've tried to remember how truly lucky I am, especially compared to the majority of the planets population. But then I started thinking about how there are too many people on the planet, I thought about the ruin we're making of the planet and how so many of us just sucking greedy bastards. I've tried being appreciative of the good people in my life. I've tried looking up at the stars to remind me how insignificant it all really is. I've eaten an entire pint of ice cream. I've painted my toenails in a rainbow of colour.
Its no use; Im still unhappy.
I have had the equivalent of Alexander's terrible horrible no good very bad day, six days running.
Maybe day 7 will be better.
So many of the interactions I had with others this week were negative. I encountered more than anyone's fair share of two-faced, demanding, self-centered, frustrating, needy, stupid, foolish, illogical, annoying and smelly people.
Forget about turning lemons into lemonade. I don't have the energy left for such a positive endeavor. All I can handle is just trying to survive, and even that is tenuous. I cant manage to distract myself long enough to stop obsessing about everything that has gone / is going wrong.
I've shed tears, and it gave he a headache. I've shouted, and sounded foolish. I've blamed myself; I've blamed others, but the problem was only amplified. Ive tried gardening, but pulling weeds and digging holes didn't slack my anger. I tried reading, but the ending of the story sucked. I tried throwing my new beautiful incredibly uncomfortable blue panty-hose into the trash, but it just highlighted that Id wasted $20.
I've tried to think about all the things Im grateful for, but it didnt stick. I came right back to being ungrateful and feeling under appreciated. I've tried to remember how truly lucky I am, especially compared to the majority of the planets population. But then I started thinking about how there are too many people on the planet, I thought about the ruin we're making of the planet and how so many of us just sucking greedy bastards. I've tried being appreciative of the good people in my life. I've tried looking up at the stars to remind me how insignificant it all really is. I've eaten an entire pint of ice cream. I've painted my toenails in a rainbow of colour.
Its no use; Im still unhappy.
I have had the equivalent of Alexander's terrible horrible no good very bad day, six days running.
Maybe day 7 will be better.
