Attacked by Chameleon gang

nick barta

Chameleon Enthusiast
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It was going to be a normal sunny day, when all 6 Chams were going into the outdoor cages. Being confident that I was in control, being the human and all, I felt there was no danger taking 2 mellow montanes at one time from the Chameleon room out to the Sunshine Condo's. With little Montium in the left hand, and Mr. Physcho Quad in the right hand, I began my 45 foot journey.

Little did I know the 2 of them had been waiting for this opportunity, and had planned my demise, and their escape from the chameleon prison I had created for them. Oh, to be free from these cages......:rolleyes:

I was just exiting the room when Psycho, the suicide quad, prone to jumping to his death at the appearance of a human, began his typical side to side gaping, violently thrashing his body to release himself, so he could plunge to the floor and race to FREEEEE-DOM.

Being aware of his fondness for flying, I began to concentrate on how to keep him in my right hand, so I let Little montium hang on to my shirt, just above the breast. Using my now free left hand, I began to try to hold Mr. Quad with both hands, and unknowingly fell into their evil trap.

Mr. Quad lauched himself sideways violently and placed his teeth firmly into the base of my thumb, which he had never done before, at which point I said "Dude, what are you doing?"

What i failed to realize was that Mr. Quad's bite was simply a diversionary tactic cooked up by this evil pair.

Little Montium had begun to move into position as I was concentrating on Physcho, the flying chameleon. He inched ever upward, finally clearing the collar of my shirt. As if on cue, Physcho Quad released his thumb death grip, and leaped from my grasp. As I lunged to catch him, cute Little Montium deleivered the almost fatal blow.

Sinking his teeth into my jugular vein, he attemted to end this keepers life. I stopped my attempt to catch Phsycho and focused on releasing the death grip of Little Montium, who had me in a front naked choke which would make Urriah Favor of the UFC proud. I fell to my knees trying to avoid Physcho who had hit the carpet running, which landed me off balance so I was on my side. I was thinking "It all ends right here, I am going to die at the claws of these beasts." After all I had done for them, these Frankensteins were turning on me, their provider.

I managed to pry him loose with an arm bar, but was completely weak from the war that just took place, and I was laughing hard enough to need a Depends Diaper.

Both gang members had executed their plan, and were now racing across the carpet, and felt thay had succeded in their escape, until they hit the sliding glass door. All criminals make mistakes when they commit their crimes.

As I lay there on the carpet, having narrowly escaped death, I could see my graveyard headstone, it would have read:

"Chameleon keeper killed by gang of chameleons. His body was found with hundreds of feeder insects crawling on him. Somehow, all the feeder insects and chameleons got set free..... His wife is questioning the hickey on his neck, as she is sure she did not put it there...."

I can't help but wonder, what if Physcho had hit the jugular instead of Little Montium, would I still be alive?? The bite on my thumb suggests NOT....

This actually happened, it is not an April Fools Joke! I guees there are worse ways to exit this life.

Nick
 
Wow what a hair-raising story!! Thanks for having us rolling on the floor in fits of laughter!!

gpmo
 
supurb skit, arn't they inteligent?!!!!!!!!!LMAO Whata GREAT story, thanks for the entertainment ,
 
Any chance for a reenactment that you could have your wife video? I know it would win funniest video. We would all enjoy it but never, never laugh at you.:rolleyes:
 
Any chance for a reenactment that you could have your wife video? I know it would win funniest video. We would all enjoy it but never, never laugh at you.:rolleyes:

Now that is a great idea! Black and white... Change the names to protect the innocent. All chameleons are innocent until proven guilty.
 
Man, there aren't many times that I burst out in laughter after but this story really painted a funny picture... :)

Luis
 
That really made my morning :)

Hope you wasnt too traumatized by the ordeal?! Remember, they still need looking after, dont neglect them... just be careful ;)
 
Nick, everything was accurate and believable except Uriah Faber is not in the UFC. Glad to see you survived!
 
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